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Next time you engage in a real-life face-to-face conversation, note how many times questions are answered with “huh?” by either you or the other person. Also, note the frequency in which sentences and statements that are supposed to be simple now require rephrasing or further explanation. I have a theory.

In this, the age of Facebook and indirect social connections, the general populace is finding themselves less reliant on their listening and communication skills; thus, people are getting increasingly lax at it, turning most face-to-face public interactions these days into hamster wheels of conversation. People have stopped paying attention to what they are saying, or what anyone else is saying to them. I estimate that 50% of all sentences I speak daily are either repeats of previous sentences or clarifications of someone’s lazy language shorthand. As proof, I now submit several of my recent interactions with people at work, all from ONE DAY:

Me: Do you have a question?

Customer: Yes. I’m still waiting.

Me: That’s not a question.

Customer: What?

Me: THAT’S a question.

The rules of punctuation no longer apply.

Customer: Do you have Allegra in 60 milligrams?

Me: Sorry, we only have the 180s.

Customer: 180 what?

The inquirer forgets the question seconds after it is asked.

Me: Your order will be ready in 45 minutes.

Customer: It will be ready in 45 minutes?

Me: Yes.

Customer: Not 30 minutes?

Me: 45 minutes.

Customer: It will be ready then?

Not only does the customer try to haggle time like a swap meet shopper, but he also forces a repeat of the original statement, “your order will be ready in 45 minutes”, by asking three consecutive questions to which he should already know the answer.

It has occurred to me that this may just be a stupid customer epidemic.

To restore your¹ faith in humanity, here is a picture of adorable New England Patriots cheerleader Cassie Go.

¹…Okay, more for me than for you.

I am a movie guy. A cinefile, if you will. I went to film school for a short time to try and quench my thirst for the art. I even follow The Script Lab on Twitter, for crying out loud. And out of the thousands of movies I have bared witness to and tens of film projects I have been a part of, I have only one true observation about the entire medium:

The larger Jason Statham appears on a movie’s poster/DVD cover, the more it will suck.

Case in point:

Discuss.

marauderverity asked: What inspired you and your friends to start "Kings of Kaukau" and did you ever anticipate that it would get so popular?

Well, it started with “Epic Kaukau Time”, which started with Epic Meal Time, of course. Ironically enough, I turned Ian (the chef) on to Epic Meal Time while we were out jogging one day. Once he checked it out for himself, he wanted to do an Epic Meal Time type of video, only with a popular local dish. So, we came up with a whole list of ideas, decided on Manapua Man Manapua, put together an EMT-like crew including Ian’s brother Rocky and cousin David, and close friend Nick, and shot “Epic Kaukau Time”. Once it was uploaded, I tweeted it to Epic Meal Time as a long shot that they would actually see it. They ended up seeing it and liking what they saw, and re-tweeted it to their followers. The video went viral literally overnight, and we now found ourselves in a unique position to share the cultures and food of Hawaii with the world. So, we decided to continue making videos focusing on Hawaii local cuisine, with a conscious effort to set ourselves apart from Epic Meal Time and impart our own style and voice. Hence, the name change to Kings of Kaukau and more comedic tone.

I never anticipated anyone ever actually seeing our videos, especially Epic Meal Time themselves. To be honest, in a way, I still don’t. Keeps me on my toes. I hope this answer wasn’t too long-winded…